My friend Sabrina is suffering from brain cancer. In the midst of surgery, chemo, and radiation treatment, she wrote this blog post. I love it and wanted to share it. You can read the original here:
What do you want most...Time!
Time... It is something that has always been searched for, wanted more of. Men and Women have tried to manipulate it, wanted it to work for their good, their advantage.
Mostly wanted more of it!
As a young mother I thought it would both be the salvation and ruin of me. How could I fill another day as a chosen stay at home mother (SAHM) in a productive positive waywithout going crazy myself. I figured out pretty quickly that getting up early was my salvation. I would go on a walk daily, most times in the dark, through my Bethel Park neighborhood located south of Pittsburgh, PA. It wouldn't be long but it would be enough to strengthen and encourage me to be the best I could be for that day. I am still walking almost everyday thanks to the many friends and family who walk with me. I walk to feel the connection I have to nature and God. I walk because it is helpful to prepare me for another day of radiation and chemotherapy. I walk to feel my body is still alive and I know it has strength and energy even if I do have to take naps every day.
I walk because I CAN.
And I walk to think about TIME and how I will use that time for the next days hours.
I now see TIME with a different lens. That happens when your mountain trail changes abruptly and your life plan as you saw it is altered. What will I choose to do today? What should I do today, what must I do today, how do I decide and how do I make the most of the TIME that is given me in this very day?
Glen asked what I wanted for my 50th birthday that is coming up in a few months. Is it fair to say MORE TIME!
A year ago I would have probably had mixed feelings about turning 50.
Now I am so grateful that I will see my 50th birthday and I will be able to spend it with many of those I love and care about most.
Around when I turned 49 I began an exercise program and eating plan to help me get stronger and healthier. I didn't choose to do it to lose weight but to become a stronger woman physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I know without a doubt that my going into brain surgery, and then on to 5 times a week radiation and daily chemotherapy with this base of strength has been a huge blessing physically, mentally and spiritually. My Father in Heaven knew my path and He helped me feel the importance of making a positive change a year before I would find out my PATH was different than I planned or imagined. TIME is something we each have the same amount of. We each have a choice in how to spend that time. Many times, over the last 27 years, I wondered if I was doing the right thing choosing to be a SAHM. It is hard to live on one income in the greater Seattle area. But for me as I prayed and pondered about it, I knew it was what I wanted to do and with the blessing and amazing support of Glen have been able to fulfill that desire. NOW I am so grateful that I have been privileged to be at so many cross roads, so many soccer games, xc meets, track meets, volleyball matches, youth activities, choir and band concerts... So many early mornings helping make breakfast, lunches and saying prayers as they walk out the door. So many days being home when they returned from their day and asking about that day with a snack before they disappeared into the abyss of homework, music, social media... I have been so very blessed to have the chance to spend my TIME in this way.
I will NEVER regret it!
We each have our own path made from our own choices and life experiences. Lets not judge another for the way they climb their mountain. Lets reach out a hand of encouragement!
Lets stand side by side as we do our best with our individual decisions and set of circumstances.
There is already plenty of judgement and disrespect being shared. I want to choose to be tolerant and kind. So many of you are showing me how much goodness and kindness there is to be grateful for.
I love you for that kindness and my days are brighter as I think about the good that so many are doing despite their own hard mountain climbs.
Life can be hard there is no doubt about that. But it can also be full of faith and joy and love and hope.
I choose to spend my TIME---focusing on FAITH! JOY! HOPE! LOVE!
Talk by Elder Juan A Uceda, October 2016 general conference.
His own experience on a mountain trail. "When you pray, are you really praying or just saying prayers?" Psalms 3:2-5 Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me...and the lifter up of mine head. I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me. Alma 32:21 (Hebrews 11:1) If ye have faith, ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true. 2 Nephi 31:20 Ye must press forward, having a perfect brightness of hope.